Fucking is NOT considered Intimacy today.

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I am on the upper end of what is considered middle age. I was taught that having sex was the epitome of intimacy. However, that does not seem to be the case today.

Most women today have no problem taking selfies of themselves partially or totally nude, of having pictures of themselves showing off their female attributes. To them it is no big deal. To some it means nothing at all. But for some reason, I just made the connection that most women today feel the same way about sex. It’s just no big deal, and means nothing.

I actually had a problem with this in my last marriage. My last ex was almost 20 years younger than me, and we had several discussions about sex, and love. I specifically remember me telling her that I believed that having sex with her was the ultimate expression of love. She looked at me like I was crazy, and said “Sex has nothing to do with love.”

I didn’t understand what she meant, or how she could feel that way at the time. She ended up having an affair, and she left me. The affair with “Fuckface”, as I call him, didn’t last long, and she tried to come back to me after several times, but I was just not able to trust her, and I finally just told her “NO”.

We were going through sex counseling for a year or so before, and while our therapist was really good, I just never really understood what the problem was. I knew my wife at the time was “damaged”, and I really thought that it was just her terrible past that was causing the problems, and that once she was “fixed”, everything would be fine.

Yes, I know how naive this sounds, and some of you may even go so far as to consider me stupid. However, I am not stupid, but I was naive, ignorant, and very out of touch with how much things had changed about the attitudes of sex in only a 20 year period of time.

The reason I am writing about this now, is because something just happened to me with the Baby I have been with recently that allowed me to finally understand what was going on in my last marriage as far as sex was concerned, and how younger women feel about sex today.

My latest arrangement started off pretty much like all of the others. I was seeing her a few times a week, and eventually she started stating the night. I was fine with that, as it actually felt nice to have someone in the house again from time to time.

Her situation where she was staying was not good, so I told her that she could stay with me in my house if she wanted. Now before you say, “You told me to never cohabitate with a woman”, you are correct. However, I wrote up a contract that specified that she was a live in house keeper, and she was to perform her duties as a house keeper to receive room and board as remuneration, and we both signed the agreement. I believe this will protect me should she ever decide to try and fuck me over.

I let her have a spare room, and I told her she could sleep there, or she could sleep in my room with me if she wanted. She always chose to sleep with me, except for one night recently, which leads me to write this.

She is very young. She is also horney as hell, and loves to fuck. We were fucking twice a day at times, and that was not a bad thing until I started having to work some very long hours, and was working six days a week. I had to go to bed pretty early, because I had to get up early and be at work.

So everything was fine until one night, after we had already fucked, I told her I was going to wind down and go to sleep. I did. Then in the middle of the night, I started feeling her hand on my cock. It felt good, I won’t lie, and it woke me up. I had already been up really late with her the night before, and the night before that, and this night I was really tired. So instead of waking up, fucking her, then trying to go back to sleep, I told her No, I have to get some sleep. She got up and went to her own room and slept in her bed for the very first time in our relationship.

Later the next day, I called her to see if she we OK, and if I had hurt her feelings by telling her No. She said she was not hurt, but there was something in her voice that told me something different. Later after I got home, she told me that she was starting to have feelings about being intimate. This is why I am writing this.

The problems she was having had absolutely nothing to do with fucking, or sucking. She will let me put my dick anywhere I want on her, or in her, and she has no problems with that at all. I can cum on her, or in her, anywhere, and she won’t bat an eye, unless some of my cum is heading in that direction. Her concerns were holding hands, and sleeping in the same bed together.

Fucking really means nothing to her. It is just something she does, and enjoys but it doesn’t MEAN anything at all. However, holding hands, touching each other in non sexual ways while sitting together watching movies scares her, and she considers those things as being intimate.

She is not wrong. Those are her feelings. And for the first time in my life, I understand why her, my last ex, and so many women today can just fuck, let you cum all over them, and it means nothing.

Like so many things in life, feelings, or what is important to a person can be very different from one person to the next. However, I have learned that age can exacerbate the differences to a degree I was unable to understand until a few days ago. The relationship between my Baby and I is on currently on hold until we figure out how to address the issue. She is away visiting family, and we are both thinking about how best to handle the issue.

My understanding of what is considered intimate for me has not changed. However, I now understand that intimacy can mean something very different from what I was taught.

This whole blog thing started out because I felt like I was trying things as I go, making mistakes, trying to learn from them, and wished that there was some place I could go to learn about it so that I could make fewer mistakes.

I hope reading this helps someone else.

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